Here without you
by johnliz4ever
Summary: Previously known as 'This Woman's Work'. When what was lost is returned, Elizabeth finds her life shattering around her.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Don't own Stargate Atlantis

Note: This only came about thanks to Kate Bush and her wonderful song 'This Woman's work.'

Warning: Suspected character death

* * *

Elizabeth looked out across the glistening water that surrounded the city. She closed her eyes and let the tears she'd been holding back fall onto her cheeks.  
As she allowed her tears to fall, she let her sobs free. 

She gripped tightly onto the railings of the balcony.  
He was gone.

John Sheppard had gone on a mission and had not returned and while there was not any solid evidence that he was dead, well the scorched lifeless planet spoke for itself.

She'd failed to protect her people. She'd failed to protect John.

She quickly wiped the tears off her cheek and from her eyes. The last thing she needed was Aiden or Carson noticing that she'd been crying. She was going to have to be strong. Not let her emotions get in the way.

She needed John, wanted him to be here next to her. To hold her and tell her everything was okay, she wanted to tell him everything she'd never had the strength to tell him.

Wanted to tell him how much he meant to her, how that without him she wouldn't have been able to handle the expedition.  
But now she was alone, she had to draw on her own strength and the strength John had gave her.

She was full of darkness and that had to go way.  
She had to be strong and lead these people.  
That was her work.

Fin…


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis will never be mine

Notes: I was never planning on extending this but the idea wouldn't leave me alone.

Pairing: John/Elizabeth and one that I will not disclose at this time.

* * *

A year later

Elizabeth sat at the side of the infirmary bed.

She stared at the man laying in front of her. He looked so small and fragile. So different from when she'd last seen him over a year ago.

She grabbed on of his ands and held it tightly. Wishing John to wake up.

She sat there for a moment just holding his hand until she felt two hands place themselves on her shoulders.

Elizabeth sighed and looked up at the man who was stood behind her. She smiled at him before looking back down at the man in front of her.

"What can I do for you Aiden?"

Aiden removed his hands and sat next to her silently for a few moments before responding.

"I wanted to check you're okay"

Elizabeth nodded not taking her eyes off John.

"I'm fine."

Aiden grabbed Elizabeth's free hand and held it lightly, brushing his thumb against the back of her hand.

"I'll stay with him, if you want to get some rest"

Elizabeth shook her head and looked at him, smiling weakly.

"I'm okay Aiden"

Aiden sighed, obviously pissed.

"Elizabeth, you haven't slept in two days"

Elizabeth raised one of her eyebrows and answered quite sharply.

"I didn't know you were keeping score"

She pulled her hand away from Aiden's and placed it next to John's hand, which she was still holding.

Aiden sighed and placed a hand on shoulder, he slowly slid it up her neck and to her chin, which he cupped before forcing her to face him. He stared at her for a few moments before dropping his hand, standing up and walking out of the room.

Elizabeth sighed, turning her head just in time to see him leave.

She shook her head and turned back round to John dropping his hands.

"I thought you were dead, we all thought you were dead, we learnt to deal with it. We moved on, but now you're back and that's caused some problems."

Slowly she dropped her head into her hands and sighed

"What am I going to do?"

* * *

A few hours later Aiden walked into his quarters, the only light in the room was coming from a small window that looked out across the ocean, the moon was bright but shined into the room so that it only shone light over a sliver of his quarters. 

Even with the lack of light Aiden could feel her presence in the room; he slowly and silently slipped out of his uniform, putting on a t-shirt and some jogging bottoms before sliding into the bed.

He propped himself up with one arm and brushed away a piece of her brown hair with his spare hand before dropping it onto her waist and lowering himself down onto the bed.

She leant back into his chest; Aiden smiled and placed a delicate kiss on her neck.

A few seconds went by before she spoke.

"I'm sorry"

Aiden kissed her neck again before sighing

"It's okay, I understand, I do. Get some rest Elizabeth"

She slowly nodded and pulled his arm fully around her waist.

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

Spoilers: Season 1

* * *

Elizabeth woke up a few hours later with Aiden's arm still wrapped around her waist and his head nuzzled into her neck. 

She sighed, content with his presence, they were his quarters after all and she had gone to him.

She often wondered what people thought about her and Aiden, or more worryingly, what they assumed about her because of it.

She knew some people thought she was a heartless bitch who was using him, but that wasn't true. She did care about him deeply, more than she'd ever cared about Simon, but she also knew that if John hadn't gone missing, been presumed dead, they would have never found this connected between them. They were, in a way, thrown together by the fates. They found comfort in each other. She didn't know about how Aiden felt about her, but on the other hand he didn't know how she felt about him, she wasn't even sure whether she knew that herself.

Slowly she unwrapped his arm and slipped out of the bed. She walked over to the window. She looked out at the brilliant white full moon, which was filling the sky with light.

She slowly drew back a curtain, which lead to a large window that opened up onto a small balcony.

Aiden had moved to this room a few months back, complaining that he wanted a room with a view.

The first time Elizabeth saw the view she fell in love with it.

During the day, the clear water would glitter under the hot orange sun and during the night, it would glisten under the light of the moon and stars.

Aiden knew how much she loved a beautiful sea view, he wouldn't admit it but that was half the reason he moved to this room, he wanted her to want to be with him all the time. He wanted her to spend time with him. Granted she would have done that anyway but he just didn't feel secure enough with her, he always felt like she was too good for him.

Elizabeth knew his feelings of insecurity, and she understood the reasons he had them. People around Atlantis assumed she was using him and even he, for a while had thought the same, he'd even accused her of it at one point

**Flashback (3 Months earlier)**

Elizabeth and Aiden sat at the briefing room with the rest of the team going through recent security report on certain planets and cultures. The planet that was the subject of much discussion was the planet Elizabeth would be going to for an ally agreement meeting. Aiden, as John always had, did have worries about Elizabeth going off world. Elizabeth had told him, like she always did, that she would be fine and that she was very capable of looking after herself, but Aiden was still convinced that more security measures should be made and that's what they were discussing at the moment and like always Elizabeth was insisting she didn't need it.

"I will be perfectly safe with the security team that St Bates has issued. We don't need more."

Ford nodded slowly before getting an idea.

"A gun"

Elizabeth looked at him in confusion

"What about one?"

Aiden cleared his throat, knowing how pissed she'd be at this suggestion.

"What if you carry a gun?"

Elizabeth looked at him, her expression halfway between amazed and pissed.

"Absolutely not."

Aiden sat forward closing the distance between them.

"You don't have to use it, but it'll be there just in case."

Elizabeth shook her head

"We are going for an ally agreement meeting. What will it look like when I turned up carrying a weapon, I'll tell you, it will make them seem like I don't trust them"

Aiden sighed

"The security team will be armed and I'm guessing their security team will be armed as well."

Elizabeth shook her head

"That's not the point. I am an authority figure and I trust these people. Your team met them, you wrote in your own report that you trusted these people, why the sudden turn around"

Aiden sighed

"I just want to know that you'll be safe"

Elizabeth nodded

"I will be. Now if that is the end of it you're all dismissed"

The group stood up, Elizabeth remained seated and after a moment, she called out.

"Lt Ford, stay a moment please"

Aiden hung back and sat back down as the rest of the group filed out. When the door shut Elizabeth turned to Aiden.

"Aiden I would appreciate it if you didn't bring your personal feelings into a meeting."

Aiden looked at her slightly pissed

"I'm sorry if I was concerned about your safety but that often occurs when you're seeing someone"

Elizabeth sighed

"Learn to draw a line Aiden. Leave our personal and professional relationships separate."

Aiden shook his head

"It's so easy for you. You don't know what it's like to be with someone and have them not really there."

Elizabeth looked at him slightly confused

"What are you talking about?"

Aiden sighed

"I feel like you're using me, like I'm a substitute for the Major. Think about it, I get his job, command of his team...I get you"

Elizabeth stood and paced around for a moment before responding.

"Well, that is a nice thing to say. You think it, everyone else on Atlantis thinks it, so it must be true. Yes, I'm a heartless, cold-blooded bitch who is using you. The same bitch that sat by your bedside for three days when everyone else had given up hope on you surviving. I was the only one that had faith. Yes that was all a game to me. Crying for hours on end when Carson told me you wouldn't pull through"

Tears formed in Elizabeth's eyes but she managed to keep them at bay.

"That was all fun to me. I'm using you, that's why it hurt so damn much"

Elizabeth dropped and sat on the edge of the table, her back towards Aiden.

Aiden didn't know what to do, slowly he stood up and walked round to her. He tried to draw her into his arms but she pushed him away. Slowly he bent down.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I know you're not using me, I know that. Why didn't you ever tell me what you went through?"

Elizabeth looked at him

"I didn't what you to know what a complete state I became."

Aiden tried again and succeeded in drawing Elizabeth into his arms and holding her in a long embrace.

**End of flashback**

Elizabeth stood there silently just watching the waves or occasionally looking up at the stars. She didn't even realise that the man laying in the bed had woken up and was watching her, with a mixture of awe and worry.

Slowly and silently Aiden rose from the bed and walked over to the balcony, he slowly wrapped his arms around her waist and dropped his head into the crook of her neck and kissing it tenderly.

Elizabeth almost jumped out of her skin when she felt two arms wrap themselves around her waist. It took her a moment to realise it was Aiden but when she did she relaxed into his arms.

She turned her head slightly and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'm sorry if I woke you"

Aiden shrugged

"You didn't wake me"

Aiden paused for a moment before continuing.

"Are you okay?"

Elizabeth nodded, slightly detached from him.

"I'm fine"

Aiden waited for a few moments before removing his arms from her waist and walking round until he was stood in front of her.

"Elizabeth, open up to me, please. I know the Major being back as...created problems..."

Elizabeth cut him off quickly.

"That's not it Aiden."

Aiden shrugged

"Come on, be honest"

Aiden took her hands in his.

"Elizabeth, I don't know what happened between you and the Major but...I hope you know how I feel for you"

Elizabeth sighed. Aiden had never said how he felt about her, and she didn't know how he felt about her, maybe she hadn't read the signs, maybe a part of her didn't want to.

"Nothing happened between me and John and I know how much you care for me..."

Aiden placed his hand on her cheek

"I love you"

Elizabeth stood shell-shocked for a few moments. She didn't know what to say or what to do. She didn't even know if she felt the same way. She cared for him, she did, in a way, love him, but she didn't know if she was in love with him.

"Aiden..."

Aiden cut her off with a smile

"You don't have to say it. I know that it might take you longer to know how you feel. When the time comes I'll accept it, whatever your decision."

Elizabeth smiled slightly and kissed him gently on the lips.

Aiden then took her hand and lead her back into the room.

* * *

Elizabeth watched from the control room as SGA-1, consisting of Aiden, Teyla, Rodney and Bates stepped through the 'Gate. 

Since their talk last night Aiden had taken Elizabeth to the stars and back and now she was missing him, even though she'd spent the morning with him, first at breakfast and then in briefings before the mission that they had just set out on.

She turned to Peter with an instruction that she be called as soon as SGA-1 checked in before heading down to her quarters.

She opened the door to her quarters and walked in, dropping down almost immediately onto her bed.

She laid on her bed and closed on her eyes and turned her head to the side. She then slowly opened her eyes and saw sitting on her bedside table the clay pot John had given her for her birthday over two years ago.

That had been the first time she ever felt really at home in Atlantis and John had been the one to make her feel that way.

Quickly she shut her eyes and sighed. She had to stop this, she had to stop thinking about 'What could have been'. John went, she'd found Aiden and he loved her, that was her current situation and she had to live with her decisions.

She laid on the bed for a few moments before sitting up when a voice came through her radio.

"Dr Weir, it's Beckett, can you please come down to the infirmary?"

"I'll be right there Carson"

Elizabeth slid off the bed and left her quarters. She quickly made her way down to the infirmary and was met at the door by Carson.

"Carson what's the problem?"

Carson smiled

"He's awoke"

TBC…


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own it 

Spoilers: Season 1

**Flashback (1 Year earlier)**

Elizabeth watched as three bodies fell through the Stargate. She rushed down the stairs as the Stargate shut down and dropped next to Aiden.

"Ford, Ford what happened?"

Ford looked up at Elizabeth, soot and dirt covering him.

"We were ambushed by the Wraith, they were everywhere"

Elizabeth nodded

"Where's the Major?"

Aiden looked around

"He was right behind us, he was there..."

Elizabeth grasped Aiden's hand

"Steady, breathe"

A medical team entered the 'Gate room and started looking over the team. The team lifted Ford to a gurney and he grabbed Elizabeth's hand again.

"You have to send a team back for him"

Elizabeth nodded

"I will,"

She let go of Aiden's hand, watched the team be taken down to the infirmary and shouted up at Peter

"Peter dial P23-X63."

Elizabeth ran up the stairs as he did. The Stargate connected and Elizabeth held her breath.

"What does the M.A.L.P show?"

A very grainy picture showed from the M.A.L.P and what they saw shocked everyone. The planet was scorched, it was full of ash and fires.

She tried to hold it back but Peter heard the gasp, which escaped Elizabeth's mouth.

"Call Bates, tell him to assemble SGA teams 2 and 3."

Peter nodded and was on the radio straight away to St Bates.

Elizabeth knew she was risking it sending another team out there but since activating the Stargate there had been no immediate signs of any danger at the Stargate or near the surrounding area.

For Elizabeth the next hour past very slowly. Bates and his team went to the planet keeping in permanent contact with Atlantis. One team stayed at the Stargate and immediate areas while another team searched further a field.

When the team came back Elizabeth could see Bates holding something in his hand. Elizabeth slowly walked down the steps and identified the object straight away.

"I'm sorry Ma'am, this was all we found. The land was scorched, we found nothing alive"

Tears pierced Elizabeth's eyes as she took John's tags from his hand. She ran her fingers gently across his name and sighed.

"Thank you St Bates. I'll be in the infirmary."

Quickly Elizabeth turned away from him and walked down to the infirmary trying to keep a handle on her emotions.

When she reached the infirmary she walked in and saw the three remaining members of her flagship team sat on three of the beds. Slowly she walked over to them.

"SGA-2 and 3 have returned."

She took Aiden's hand and placed the tags in them

"I'm sorry"

Aiden looked down at the tags which sat in his hand before looking back up at Elizabeth

"Did they find his bo..."

Aiden couldn't even bring himself to say the word but Elizabeth knew that he meant.

"No, the land was so badly scorched that they couldn't find anything. I'm sorry"

Elizabeth watched as Teyla dipped her head into her hands holding back the tears. She saw Rodney turned away and face the wall before starting to mutter something. All Aiden did was sit there in utter disbelief.

Elizabeth turned and left the infirmary without a word and made her way to her quarters. By now most people knew what had happened so it wasn't surprising the sympathetic looks she got. As she walked down the corridor to her quarters she was stopped by Kavanagh.

"Dr Weir, I have something I need you to see."

Elizabeth shook her head

"Not now Doctor"

Kavanagh sighed quite pissed.

"I'm sorry that he's dead but the whole expedition can't shut down because of that. You should be setting an example"

Elizabeth didn't know what happened but something inside her snapped.

"You heartless bastard."

Kavanagh jumped back shocked and people who were in the corridor stopped what they were doing and turned to them.

"What?"

Elizabeth shook her head

"You think I give a damn about what your are working on at the minute. A member of my expedition is missing, presumed dead"

Kavanagh shrugged

"And there will be another to take his place. Hopefully someone who will be better at the job."

Elizabeth didn't even realise she'd hit him until he stumbled back in pain.

"You bitch"

Elizabeth didn't even respond she just walked past him and down into her room.

As she entered the darkened room she picked up a cup and threw it across the room with all her strength. It exploded into a million pieces of pot on fell to the floor.

Unable to contain her sadness anymore she slid to the floor and began crying. The tears fell down her face, dropping onto her lips and making them salty. And she stayed there in the darkened room for hours just trying not to cry anymore.

**End of flashback**

Elizabeth was not quite sure she head Carson correctly.

"Say again"

"He's awoke Elizabeth. John has woken up, I thought you'd want to know."

Elizabeth nodded

"Of course, thank you. Is he...is he up to having visitors?"

Carson nodded

"Not for too long but yes, he was actually asking for you"

Elizabeth nodded

"Thanks Carson"

She walked past Carson and into the infirmary. She looked over at the far bed were John was laying. As she approached she could see that his eyes were closed but as she reached him his eyes opened, as if sensing her. A small smile formed across his face as he saw her.

"Doc, you have no idea how good it is to see you"

Elizabeth smiled and shook her head.

"We thought you were dead. We thought we'd never find you."

John nodded sadly.

"I thought I was dead. I'm not ashamed to admit that I was scared."

Elizabeth nodded and sat down in the chair next to his bed. Slowly she placed her hand over his, needing to know that he was really there.

John curled his hand slightly and grasped Elizabeth's hand.

"I know. I can't believe I'm here either."

Elizabeth sighed and nodded.

"Once Carson allows it, you are going to have to be debriefed. A lot as happened"

John nodded, still keeping hold of her hand

"Okay. I've missed you Elizabeth, so much."

Elizabeth smiled, tears threatening to fall from her eyes

"I've missed you. More then you'll ever know"

John was about to say something else when the infirmary door opened and three people walked in all with relieved looks on their faces.

"Sir"

John recognized that voice immediately as Aiden's. John smiled and ushered them over with his free hand

"Ford, Teyla, it's so good to see you both again"

John then looked at Rodney and smiled

"McKay"

Rodney nodded

"Sheppard"

Everyone in the room knew they respected each other and were happy to see each other, although they weren't going to tell the others that.

Elizabeth turned to Aiden, smiling lightly.

"Why are you back so early?"

Aiden sighed

"I'll fill you in later"

Elizabeth nodded

"Why didn't Peter contact me?"

Aiden smiled

"I told him not to bother."

Elizabeth nodded and turned back to John who started talking again.

Aiden stood next to Elizabeth, his eyes dropping on her hand which was still in John's grasp. He was so distracted by it that he missed John's question.

"Ford, did you hear me?"

Aiden looked up at him smiling

"Sorry sir, what did you say?"

John shook his head and repeated his question

"I said have you been taking care of the team"

Aiden nodded

"Of course"

John nodded, in approval.

"Good, I'm glad you were made military commander and not Bates"

Elizabeth shook her head

"John, Bates is not as bad as you make him out to be"

John looked at Elizabeth with a mock glare

"Is there something you're hiding from me?"

Suddenly the four other people in the room became very uncomfortable. They knew he was joking about Bates but they didn't know how he would react when he found out about Elizabeth and Aiden, and he would find out eventually

"Of course not."

John nodded just as Carson walked in glaring at them.

"I said one visitor not four, now all of you out."

Teyla and Rodney said goodbye to John and then left the infirmary. John reluctantly let go of Elizabeth's hand as she said goodbye. Aiden was about to leave when John called him back.

"Ford. I told you that I worry about Doc Weir, you know, making sure she eats right, takes breaks, goes to bed, that sort of thing"

Aiden nodded still trying to cover up how uncomfortable he was

"We...you've been looking after her right? Making sure that she looks after herself"

Aiden nodded

"I have Sir"

John nodded

"Thanks, now get out of here"

Aiden nodded and walked out of the infirmary. Carson quickly followed him out.

"You'll need to tell him at some point Aiden."

Aiden sighed

"You know how he feels about her, we all do. And we all know that she feels the same about him. So what am I supposed to do. I don't want to loose her, but I don't want her to be unhappy."

Carson squeezed Aiden's shoulder, sighing.

"You always knew it would be difficult, if he ever came back"

Aiden nodded and sighed

"Honestly, I never expected him to come back. I never expected to have this problem."

Carson sighed

"Talk with her"

Aiden shrugged

"I've tried, she shrugs me off, she tells me that there's nothing between them"

Carson nodded

"Maybe that's the truth"

Aiden shook his head.

"You know that's not true."

Carson nodded sadly.

"I'm sorry son"

Carson turned and headed back into the infirmary. Aiden sighed one last time before heading down to his quarters. He punched in his code and entered his quarters and was surprised to see Elizabeth sat on his bed.

"Elizabeth"

She didn't respond, instead she stood up and wrapped her arms around him holding him tightly. Slowly she pulled away from him and he placed a hand on her cheek.

"Are you okay?"

Elizabeth nodded

"I'm fine."

She pulled away from him and smiled.

"What happened on the planet?"

Aiden shrugged.

"Nothing important but McKay wants to talk to you"

Elizabeth nodded

"Debriefing in two hours"

Aiden nodded and lightly kissed her.

"I better get cleaned up"

Elizabeth nodded

"I'm due back up in the control room"

Elizabeth left his quarters and Aiden walked into the bathroom, turning on the shower before stripping off and slipping into the shower.

**2 days later**

Aiden walked into the infirmary, he saw John laying on a nearby bed reading 'War and Peace'. Slowly he walked over to him smiling. He dragged over a chair to the bed and sat down. John turned away from his book on placed it on the nightstand.

"Hey Ford. What can I do for you?"

"Just checking how your doing sir"

John smiled.

"I'm doing okay. Trying to adjust to being back."

Aiden nodded.

"You'll be back to normal soon sir."

John nodded and sat up further.

"So, what's been happening since I've been gone?"

Aiden paused for a moment before sighing.

"Sir, I can't keep this from you any longer. I'm sorry sir but I have to tell you"

John looked at him worryingly

"Ford, what are you talking about?"

Aiden looked down at the floor before looking back up at him.

"Sir...Rodney and Teyla got together"

John's eyes widened.

"They what?"

Aiden smirked and chuckled

"You should have seen the look on your face"

John shook his head and glared at him.

"You're a sick man Ford"

Aiden continued to smirk at him.

"You're just too easy to fool Sir"

John shook his head and smirked at him.

"I didn't believe you."

Aiden just shook his head and leant back in his chair.

"I'm sure that's true. Anyway, Teyla got together with Bates so..."

John smirked

"Now I know you're joking"

Aiden just shrugged

"Fine, don't believe me. Ask her"

John decided then to change the subject, he really didn't want to know about Bates' sex life. John thought for a second before deciding to ask him something that was bugging him.

"How's Elizabeth been? I haven't really seen her the last few days. It's like she's trying to avoid me"

Aiden looked down.

"She found it difficult after you disappeared"

John nodded and looked down.

"If I could change that you know I would"

Aiden nodded

"I know. I think she's just...learning to deal with you being back"

John nodded slowly as if in thought.

"But, she's been okay. I mean you looked after her, right?"

Aiden nodded

"I did. I took care of her"

**Flashback (1 Year earlier)**

Aiden stood outside Elizabeth's quarters. He raised his hand nervously before knocking on the door.

"Dr Weir. It's Ford"

He heard something on the other side of the door before the door opened. Elizabeth stood at the door, her eyes were red but there were more tears in them.

"Aiden. Come in"

She moved away from the door and walked back into the room lifelessly. Aiden followed her into the room and watched as she sat on the bed. At the foot of the bed he could see shards of shattered pot all over the floor. He walked over to the shards and started to pick them up. Elizabeth shook her head and sighed.

"Leave it"

Aiden looked up at her; slowly he stood up and walked over to her, sitting next to her.

"How are you Ma'am?"

Elizabeth shrugged and rested her head on her hand.

"How are you feeling? I'm surprised Carson even released you"

Aiden sighed

"He didn't. I wanted to see how you were"

Elizabeth looked at him. Genuine thanks in her eyes.

"Thank you"

Aiden wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gently pressed a small light kiss to her temple before burying his head in her hair.

"I'm sorry I left him"

Elizabeth turned to him, tears filling her eyes

"Don't you ever apologise again Aiden. There was nothing you could have done."

Aiden nodded slowly as Elizabeth hugged him, burying her head into his neck.

**End of flashback **

John slowly nodded and smiled at Aiden

"Thanks Aiden, for keeping her safe and well."

John smiled to himself

"It's no secret is it? How...how I feel for her"

Aiden nodded

"I know sir. I think most people know"

Inside Aiden was breaking hearing this. He loved Elizabeth, but so did John and in the end it would have to be her decision.

**Gym**

Teyla threw Elizabeth to the ground effortlessly. Elizabeth gasped as her back connected with the mat. Teyla stood over her and looked down.

"You have not been practising"

Elizabeth got to her feet and glared at Teyla

"Unless you've not noticed a lot as been happening lately."

Teyla looked down at the floor, slightly upset with Elizabeth's tone and Elizabeth instantly regretted what she had done and took Teyla's hand in hers.

"Teyla I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you"

Teyla looked at Elizabeth and squeezed her hand

"It is okay. You have been under a lot of stress lately"

Teyla led Elizabeth to the bench and the two of them sat down. Teyla ran her fingers over Elizabeth's knuckles tenderly.

"Would you like to talk?"

Elizabeth nodded slowly.

"Teyla I am so confused and scared"

Teyla nodded and kept her grip on Elizabeth's hand

"Is it over Aiden and John?"

Elizabeth nodded and looked at Teyla's hand, suddenly becoming fascinated with it, as if it would attach her from what was happening.

"I am in over my head."

Elizabeth looked up into Teyla's eyes

"Aiden told me that he loves me"

"Oh"

'Oh' was the only word Teyla could form as she knew what this meant. It meant that if Elizabeth chose John it would break Aiden's heart.

"Do you love him?"

Elizabeth sat for a moment thinking and Teyla knew straight away that she didn't.

"I care for him more than I've ever cared for anyone but it's not love." Elizabeth paused for a moment before standing up and breaking her grip for Teyla.

"I find it difficult to love. I've been hurt so many times and I think that as caused me to lose the ability to love."

Teyla stood up and walked over to her. She lightly stroked the side of her face.

"How do you feel about John?"

Elizabeth sighed and looked up at the celling.

"We have a connection. It's something I felt almost immediately. But than again you connected with him as well."

Teyla nodded

"That's right and I care deeply for him."

Elizabeth looked at Teyla quizzically

"Do you love him?"

Teyla shook her head slowly

"Not in that way. I do love him but not in a romantic way. He was the first person out of any of you to give me a chance. He didn't look though me and that earned him a lot of my respect...and a lot of my love. He his my dearest friend and I ask you...Elizabeth please do not hurt him. He's cares you in a way that is beyond love. You're linked to him spiritually Elizabeth."

Elizabeth stared at Teyla

"How do you know that?"

Teyla stroked Elizabeth's face again and dragged her thumb across her lips.

"Because I can see what you cannot and what I can see is mutual."

She leant forward and kissed Elizabeth on the cheek before walking away and grabbing her things. She was about to leave the gym when Elizabeth called to her

"What do you think I should do?"

Teyla turned to her and smiled

"You know what you have to do. I cannot tell you"

With that Teyla left the gym and left a confused Elizabeth pondering her next move.

TBC…


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Not Mine

* * *

**5 Days later**

**Elizabeth's Office**

Elizabeth sat in her office reading through Rodney's latest report. It still baffled her how the scientist could churn out so many reports on the same thing.

She didn't even notice when a certain Major with black dishevelled hair showed up at her door, until he clear his throat. Elizabeth was shook out of her musing and looked at a smirking John Sheppard who was dressed in a blue shirt and black pants. Elizabeth had to admit, he was looking good.

"Major, I didn't see you there"

John sat down opposite her.

"I'm actually surprised Carson let you out of the infirmary."

John smirked his boyish grin which Elizabeth had missed dearly.

"I ran away."

Elizabeth smiled and John continued

"No Carson thought I should get out and about a bit. He said my constant moaning was putting him in need of a doctor."

Elizabeth raised her eyebrow slightly

"I can imagine"

John nodded

"You know I think the doctor he was talking about was that cute blonde"

Elizabeth nodded

"You mean Cassie"

John shrugged

"I don't know, all I know is that she is cute"

John sent her a smirk which could have certainly been intended as a flirt smirk.

"So you gonna let me in on why you've been avoiding me since I got back. I have to admit it wasn't the homecoming I was expecting"

Elizabeth shook her head

"I'm not avoiding you"

John laughed a little

"Come on Elizabeth. You've barely spent 30 minutes in the same room as me since I came back. You've keep getting Bates to deal with me"

John paused for a moment and looked at her. His eyes piercing her heart.

"Tell me what's going on Elizabeth"

Elizabeth was about to cave in when the back door to her office slid open and Aiden walked in.

"Elizabeth..."

Aiden stopped when he saw John.

"Sorry I didn't know you were busy I'll come back later"

Elizabeth called out after him.

"Aiden"

But he was already gone.

John tried to grab Elizabeth's attention again but Elizabeth turned to him, stopping him in his tracks.

"Give me one minute"

Elizabeth left her office and caught up with Aiden. 

"Aiden"

Aiden turned round to her.

"What?"

Elizabeth sighed

"You were going to ask me something and I've just ran all the way from my office to talk to me so you're going to tell me what's going on"

Aiden looked down at the floor and than back up at Elizabeth.

"I wanted to know if you wanted to have dinner but you're busy."

Elizabeth lent against the wall and sighed.

"Aiden..."

Aiden cut her off sharply

"If we told him would it really be so bad?"

Elizabeth pushed her hair back.

"He's just got back. We can't tell him."

Aiden saw the pain and begging across her face and caved in.

"I'm sorry"

He walked forward to her and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"We'll wait."

Elizabeth kissed him in thanks.

"Thank you. So dinner sounds great, just let me go get rid of John"

Aiden nodded and began to walk down to the mess hall.

* * *

Elizabeth hurried out of the room. John against his better judgement followed her. Something had been going on with Elizabeth and he had a feeling that it had something to do with why she had just rushed out.

Quickly he followed her stopping behind a corner as he saw her catch up with Aiden. It didn't take him long to have a suspicion about what was going on and it was later confirmed. When he saw Elizabeth kiss Aiden he swore he could feel his heart break in two. Slowly he turned round and walked back to her office. He sat down and breathed deeply. They'd lied to him, in retrospect it had been right in front of his face the whole time and he'd been to stupid to notice it.

He closed his eyes just has Elizabeth walked back into he office.

"Sorry about that Ford needed to brief me on something"

John nodded trying to keep his voice from breaking.

"That's okay. Look I've got some things to do so I'm gonna go"

Before Elizabeth could stop him John had stood up and left her office.

* * *

John walked into the infirmary and over to his bed. He dropped down onto it and closed his eyes tightly. All he could see was Elizabeth and Aiden and it hurt him. He was startled out of his reflection by a heavy Scottish voice.

"Are you alright Lad?"

John opened his eyes and saw Carson standing directly above him.

"Did you know?"

Carson looked at him in genuine confusion.

"Know what?"

John sat up and looked at him.

"Elizabeth and Ford"

Carson looked down at the floor than back up to John.

"I'm sorry Lad"

John punched his hand down onto a bed, swearing as he did.

"Fuck"

Carson put his hand on John's shoulder.

"John are you okay?"

John nodded and turned round to face him.

"How long as it been going on?"

Carson sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"About six months, that I know of"

John dropped down next to Carson

"Six months"

Carson nodded.

"She was a mess John. We all thought you were dead and Elizabeth was a mess, she tried to hide it but I'm her doctor and I know what she was going though. She'd come to the infirmary during the middle of the night for sleeping pills just so she could go a night without having nightmares about how you died. She needed comfort and nobody could provide it, we all tried, the only person who could get though to her was Aiden."

John nodded and looked down at his feet.

"Does he love her?"

Carson slowly nodded.

"He does"

John rubbed his forehead.

"And she feels the same way"

It wasn't a question it was a statement and a statement which Carson couldn't say yes to.

"I don't know John. Even Aiden doesn't know"

John rolled his head.

"I guess it's not surprising"

Carson shook his head

"Actually it is surprising, it surprised us all. It was very unlikely"

Carson slowly put his hand on John's shoulder.

"Since you've been back...well Aiden has seen some changes in Elizabeth and it's regarding you...She's not ready to let you go, she never as been"

TBC...


End file.
